How-To Tuesday -- How to Clear Out an I-MAX Theater and News on a Great Review!

Christie had a great idea for How-To Tuesday, where we can all share a little know-how with each other. She said we could be serious or silly. Since I got a great review on my book (you can read it here) and an even greater letter from my missionary, I'm not feeling too serious, so while the knowledge I share with you is true, I'm not sure you'll all be running out to give it a try. This is my first-hand knowledge on how to clear out an I-MAX theater. (I'll try to do something really useful next week!)

BE WARNED: THIS IS NOT FOR THOSE WITH A WEAK STOMACH OR A SENSITIVE GAG REFLEX!

We'd traveled to Portland, Oregon for a funeral and had spent the night in a hotel. I was pregnant with my third child and through trial and error, the doctor and I had figured out how to help me not throw up everything I ate. The solution was a B-6 vitamin and half a Unisom every night before bed. The problem was that I'd forgotten my remedy in the car and had been too tired to go get it once I remembered it. I thought I'd be okay. I hadn't thrown up for several days. Maybe this was a chance to see if I could make it without my nightly anti-vomit cocktail.

The next morning, I felt a little queasy, but not too bad. We went to breakfast where I tried to enjoy some bland scrambled eggs and toast. Everyone else had pancakes or omeletes and they looked delicious, but I didn't dare risk it.

My husband and two younger brothers decided it would be fun to go to an I-MAX showing of "The Magic of Flight," a movie featuring the daring skills of the Blue Angels. I love air shows and that sounded fun, so we went to the I-MAX theater and got great seats--right in the middle of the theater with a great view of the enormous screen.

The movie was exciting and the aerial tricks were impressive. Unfortunately, as the movie went on, I started salivating--a sure sign that my pregnancy sickness was kicking into gear. My three-year-old daughter decided she wanted held and so she was snuggled up on my lap as the screen began to show a spinning dive toward earth from inside the cockpit. I closed my eyes and swallowed hard. "You're okay. You're okay. You're okay," I repeated to myself, hoping that like the little engine that could, I could talk myself into being okay.

When I thought I'd kept my eyes closed long enough to miss the in-flight acrobatics that had threatened me, I opened my eyes. Clouds were spinning, a plane in front of me was twisting wildly and before I knew it, a shower of puke was sillouetted against the screen. It was impressive and violent and uncontrollable. After the first eruption had flown magnificently through the air, I tried to stand up, but my large stomach and three-year-old daughter made it impossible, so with the next wave, I simply leaned over and threw up the rest of my breakfast into the empty chair beside me.

It was disgusting. It was humiliating. I started crying. I got up and carried my daughter out of the theater and to the bathroom, where I tried to clean us both up.

They weren't able to show the next screening. I may very well have disrupted their entire schedule that day.

And that, my friends, is how to clear out an I-MAX theater.

8 comments:

Mindy said...

Oh, Karey... I admit, I laughed at this, but I can just imagine the horror. I'm sorry that happened to you! (And your daughter!!)

Tawnie J said...

Oh Karey. I am so sorry. Again. Great memories those pregnancies. Right?! At least they were worth it.
Love you lots.

Christie said...

Ooooh, I am pretty sure that's one how-to that I won't be trying. You poor thing. I had similar experiences with my first pregnancy in Nauvoo. Luckily, I made outside in time. But it wasn't pretty.

Thanks for playing along!

missy said...

Okay, you are funny. I just spent way too long looking at every blog post on this page. I love your perspective and sense of humor. Oh, and hooray for the unisom/B6 combo. I swear by it. It made my life so much easier during those first nauseous weeks of 6 pregnancies.

Anonymous said...

I have my own humiliating vomit session with my first pregnancy. Mine happened in a restaurant, at my table, and filled my tray. I thought I would die of embarrassment and I told my husband that he must promise to never tell anyone about this experience. Isn't it a good thing that babies are so wonderful that they are worth all of the "stuff" we go through to get them here!

Julianna said...

I threw up once on a flight from CA to Miami.

And there was no where to go...

I feel your pain.

(And mine was also from pregnancy, I just didn't know it yet.)

Lauren in GA said...

Bless your cotton socks. That must have been awful. Pretty effective way to clear the theater, though. Probably more effective than someone pulling the fire alarm. ☺

crystal said...

Oh, the PAIN of that one! I'm pretty sure your embarrassing experience trumps everyone else's. For life. Ouch.