Hello, My Name is Killjoy

My sister called me. She was frustrated. She'd just spent a good amount of time selling her Les Mis tickets for a sizable profit. The entire time she was wheeling and dealing, she was making family vacation plans in her mind. It kept her motivated as she brokered the deal with two different buyers and by the time the deals were finalized, she was pretty proud of herself.

She called her husband to excitedly inform him of the summer trip she'd just facilitated, only to be cut off at the knees with a list of practical reasons why the money should be used elsewhere and why the trip wasn't possible.

She called me wondering why he always has to rain on her parade.

And it made me think. Because in my family, I'm usually always the rainer on my husband's parades.

"What are we going to do this weekend?" he'll ask.
"Stay home."
"But it's a 3-day weekend. We should go somewhere."
"We can't really afford it."
"Well at least we can _________________" (insert something that costs money). "I've got the day off. We should do something fun."
"Why don't we do something productive, like clean the garage?"
"I want to do something relaxing. I need a distraction."

A variation of this conversation has taken place at least a hundred times in our marriage. Usually he figures out something to do that is affordable, so he's somewhat satisfied. But usually I come through looking like the boring wet blanket.

I'm okay with that role most of the time. Every marriage needs a parade rainer, killjoy or wet blanket. Marriages that don't have one of those often end in debt, divorce, murder or misery. Maybe the best marriages have both extremes to keep things a little balanced out. Maybe not.

All I know is that every once in awhile, I'd like to be the fun one. The one that gets to throw outlandish ideas out there, the one that gets to look like a party animal. I'd even be okay if I threw out some elaborate and expensive plan and someone rained on my parade.

At least I'd have had the fun of being the parade planner for those brief, exhilarating  moments.

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6 comments:

missy said...

Ah, yes. I've definitely had more than my share of being the wet blanket. (Why would anyone sell their Les Mis tickets? Love that show!)

Mindy said...

I'm our wet blanket. Tell "your sister" (I'll not say names to protect the innocent) that I love her, and am sorry that the money has to be used for practical things.

Kristi said...

I have moments of being both, often simultaneously. I will come up with a fun plan and present it, but then throw in at the end all the reasons we shouldn't. Aren't I well rounded? :)

Tawnie J said...

Try this: I do it all the time. I come up with outlandish, amazing, wonderful vacations or yard plans or house plans or whatever I feel like dreaming up. I find every way possible to do it, come up with all the great options and really believe it's going to happen. In the end I give it all up. Because it really never is practical. And I'm okay with it. It was fun to dream.
But remember, just every once in a while, you've got to do the impractical.

I am the same at the store. I find things I 'want' and carry them around with me through the store and before I check out, I put them back. I don't know why that works but it always does.

Leslie said...

i absolutely believe that you NEED someone to be the killjoy.
you are right... otherwise debt is overwhelming and depressing.

LL said...

HA! I call my husband "kill joy" all the time.
I'm SO grateful for him though, if we lived in my "fantasy" world of spending, we'd be in trouble.