Miscellaneous Memos

TO: LDStorymakers
SUBJECT: LDStorymakers Conference 2011

Thanks for a great conference. This was the first writer's conference I've ever attended and I wasn't sure what to expect, but it was great. I learned a lot, enjoyed meeting lots of great people and look forward to next year.

TO: Sheraton Food Staff
SUBJECT: Lunch on Friday

Either serve everyone good sandwiches on croissants or serve everyone the lousy sandwiches on tasteless balloon bread. Whatever you choose to do, make it fair so that those of us with blah sandwiches aren't sitting there drooling over the delicious-looking sandwiches across the table from us.

TO: Marion Jensen
SUBJECT: Twitter and Hashtags

I learned a lot in your class. Thanks for the crash course on Twitter.

TO: Gary and Mallory on The Amazing Race
SUBJECT: How Not to Lose

When you get a terrible cab driver, you should change cabs before you've wasted so much time that you have no chance of winning. After this many seasons, you should know that a bad cabdriver can cost you a million dollars. You probably won't get a third try. You should have switched cabs.

TO: Bruce
SUBJECT: Phone cards

So sad we got cut off so abruptly on Sunday and we didn't get to tell you how much we love you and miss you. Hopefully you know. Holy cow! It was so good to talk to you. I can't stop thinking about it.

TO: My Family
SUBJECT: Mother's Day

Thanks for breakfast in bed, a delicious dinner, flowers & chocolates, a story & pen, and 100 things you love about me. I didn't know I was so awesome. You're the best! and I love you so much!

TO: My Nasty Cold
SUBJECT: Go away!

I'm tired of you and my back and ribs are killing me from coughing. I don't like you and I want you to leave and stay away. And stay away from my family too. I mean it!

TO: The sunshine
SUBJECT: Stick up for yourself

For crying out loud. You showed your face for a couple of days and then you let the clouds and the cold intimidate you again. Have a backbone and stop being pushed around so easily.

TO: The school year
SUBJECT: End already

We're tired of you. We're ready for summer. We're tired of tests and studying. We want to watch the BBC Sense & Sensibility and you're not giving us a chance.

TO: The Deer
SUBJECT: Your greedy appetites

That wasn't very nice of you to eat all those tulips we planted. You didn't even let us enjoy them for one day. Selfish, selfish deer!

TO: Law and Order: Criminal Intent
SUBJECT: Goren and Eames

You finally figured out that you don't have a show without Goren and Eames, the best pair of detectives ever on television. Thanks for coming to your senses and giving us one more season. I hope my DVR holds the shows for 19 months so I can watch them with Bruce.

TO: For What It's Worth (the manuscript I'm working on)
SUBJECT: Watch out!

I'm inspired! I'm excited! And I'm ready to get you finished.

TO: The Staff at the Cheesecake Factory
SUBJECT: Same time, Same booth

How you keep doing it is amazing to me. For the third year in a row, Veronica has chosen The Cheesecake Factory for her birthday dinner and for the third year in a row, you've given us exactly the same booth. How did you know? We'll see you next year.

8 comments:

Lisa said...

SHAME on you. could you not have given me a spoiler alert before i read the amazing race results?! fun posting otherwise
though.

missy said...

Love this fun post! Oh, and the BBC Sense and Sensibility plug reminded me to tell you that I watched your recommendation for Pride & Prejudice and LOVED it!! Seriously. I watched it a little too late one night, but still stayed up long enough to watch the good parts again. Thanks!! :)

Mindy said...

It's back! This showed up in my google reader awhile ago and I came over to comment and tell you how clever it was, but it was gone. :)

snarchibald said...

I loved reading this and had a few chuckles while doing so. Maybe its because I need to crawl back into bed for 3 more hours, but after awhile I was laughing at myself for laughing at these. They were all great. And yes, get a new cab already! Grrrrrrr

cucciolo25 said...

This posting was funny. Great little snatches from your life and glimpses into your quirky humor.

Tawnie said...

Yes sun...stick up for yourself. And school.....GO AWAY!! We're done too.
Cute Karey.

cucciolo25 said...

This posting was funny. Great little snatches from your life and glimpses into your quirky humor.

Tawnie said...

Yes sun...stick up for yourself. And school.....GO AWAY!! We're done too.
Cute Karey.