What Words Do You Believe?

(Image from http://blogs.orlandosentinel.com/news_education_edblog/files/2011/02/teacher.jpg)

I've written before about my third grade teacher. For me, she was the misery all other teachers were measured against. She embodied everything I didn't want in a teacher and everything I pray my own children never have.

Each year as school begins I worry about who my kids will have as their teachers. We've had some all-stars, but we've also had a few that should never have joined the team.

So how do you make sure that no matter who the teacher is, your child gets through the year unscathed? It's a hard question and one I've thought a lot about. Teachers give children messages about who they are, how likable they are, how smart they are. My youngest is going into fifth grade and has had only one full year with a teacher who made him feel smart and liked. That's not a good percentage and it makes the mama bear in me poise for a fight.

And yet, he's comfortable with himself and he's a pretty happy kid. He even likes school. I think I have an idea why.

I think it's about choosing what words to believe. His third grade teacher told him he was smart as a whip. She told him she loved his energy and enthusiasm. She told him she appreciated how friendly he is. His other teachers have said he's unfocused and too social and disruptive. He chose to believe his third grade teacher.

I remember being terrorized by Miss D., but oddly enough, with the exception of a few choice words in the bathroom, I can't remember a single specific thing she said to me. I remember her screaming, I remember getting knuckled on the head and I remember having my hair pulled, but I don't remember the actual words she said.

And yet, I distinctly remember the student teacher's words that year. She was a welcome respite from the noise and abuse that came from Miss D. She was pretty and cool. She said words like "far out" and "super cool" when she liked something.

For art one day, we were painting with water colors. I painted a picture of a tree. In the sky, was a creature shaped like a cloud with a mouth that was blowing the leaves across the sky. In the gust of wind, surrounded by the flying leaves, was the word "whoo." She came around to look at the pictures and stopped at mine. "That is one of the coolest things I've ever seen. You're so clever. Can I take this and show my room-mate? I'll bring it back tomorrow."

I gave her the picture. I loved her.

She thought I was clever and that my art was one of the coolest things she'd ever seen. I still remember those words.

I don't know why my little boy believes the good things. I don't know why I did. But I'm so grateful.

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