You Don't Have to Agree With Me But Please Be Nice

The Savior told us not to judge each other. I think that means that we don't assume we know each other's motivations or thoughts. We need to realize that we only see what's put out there for us to see. We never truly know the inner workings of a mind or a heart.  We don't know what hurts someone has survived. We don't know where they've been or what trials they've overcome. We can't see their loneliness or their pain. We don't know what life experiences have caused them to make the choices they've made.

Unlike each of us, the Savior is able to see what really is. We can put on our happiest face, but the Savior can see our sorrows. We can hide many of our sins from the world. But the Savior sees them. We can look confident and fashionable and attractive to the world, but the Savior sees our insecurities and our weaknesses. We can surround ourselves with other people, but the Savior knows when we're lonely and desperate.

This week someone decided it was their job to set me straight. They thought they understood my situation enough to call me out and "fix" me. They thought if they talked tough and backed me into a corner, I'd see things their way. They thought it was okay to make hurtful accusations and say belittling things because they were convinced that their way of thinking was right and mine was wrong. They tried to push and prod and squeeze me into the mold they thought was best without knowing what experiences created the shape of my life. My life won't fit into their mold, no matter how much they berate, criticize or judge me.

It hurt. A lot. And it was pointless. It didn't change my mind or convince me I'm wrong. It just made me sad and uncomfortable and it made me want to gather my loved ones close and protect them from the onslaught of criticism and judgment. And it made me thankful that the One I will answer to is the only one who truly knows my heart and why I've made the choices I have.

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Leslie said...

this hit home tonight.

not sure what happened to bring on this post, but i am sorry that someone made you feel that way.

that's not fair or right.

missy said...

I completely agree with this and I feel bad for what you have gone through. A favorite quote of mine says, "We don't see things as they are, we see them as we are." It's so true! All of us are looking through our own lens and view things according to our own experiences. Why can't we take people how they are and love them anyway?

I wish you were my neighbor. I'd take you to lunch. And buy you toffee. :)

Kristi said...

I'm sorry that someone did that to you. I do agree with you. We all need to be more gentle with our judgements and feelings.

cucciolo25 said...

I wasn't trying to belittle you! And obviously you are still too stubborn to see that I have been right all along and you are still dead wrong! Wait, what? You weren't talking about me? Oh good. In that case, I totally agree with you!

John said...

One of my favorites from Gandhi is something lie....."be inder than necessary for everyone is fighting some ind of battle." And "Feelings are everywhere. Be gentle."
I'm so sorry. I hate being misunderstood and since I don't have a way with words, I feel I am misunderstood often.
Love you lots!