Water

I have a love/hate relationship with water. Let me explain.

I love drinking a glass of water. I love a nice, hot bath and a book. I love the sound of water tripping over rocks. I love a beautiful fountain. I love swimming. I love bobbing up and down as the waves roll in at the ocean. I love the way a couple of tablespoons of water steaming over an egg makes the white solid and the yolk the perfect softness.

I hate water that seeps out of a crack in a dishwasher, ruining hardwood floors and cabinets. I hate water that drips down a window frame and makes paint bubble. I hate water that rises out of a toilet that isn't flushing properly. I hate water that seeps up through a drain in the basement because the tree roots in the front yard are clogging the pipes. I hate water pressure that slows to almost nothing because someone, somewhere has done something to the waterline. I hate water that gets stuck in a sink because a renter poured bacon down the drain. I hate water that rises to my ankles in the shower because the drain needs snaked.

Today I'm dealing with the water pressure one, but sometime in my past, the Water Fairy got annoyed with me over something and decided to cast a spell on me. "May every home she lives in be plagued with an unpleasant and inconvenient water issue." It was a pretty powerful water fairy, because no matter where we live, no matter how old (or new) the house, we've had water problems, including but not limited to ALL those I mentioned above.

I'm sorry, Water Fairy. I'm sorry for the extended showers I've taken. I'm sorry for leaving the water running while I brush my teeth. I'm sorry for throwing cold water into the shower of an unsuspecting husband. I'm sorry for everything I've ever done that has upset you.

Now, please reverse your curse and leave me alone.