Another Point for Junior MInts

I like Junior Mints. A lot. When I was a child, we'd go shopping at Grand Central, a large department store with a big popcorn popper like you'd see at a theater. Sometimes Mom would buy a box of Junior Mints and a bag of popcorn. She'd pour the box of mints into the popcorn and the result was a salty, sweet, minty, chocolaty, deliciousness I enjoy to this day.

For all my loyalty to Junior Mints, they haven't been so kind to me.

Incident 1 - As an 18 year-old, I went on a date to a movie. I really liked the guy. The movie was "Without a Trace," an intense, emotional movie that made me cry. That's embarrassing enough on a date. But my humiliation couldn't end there.

Oh no. That would be too easy for an awkward girl like me on a date with a boy she wanted to impress.

After the movie, we were walking to the car. I was hoping I didn't look a mess, that my makeup was in place and that I wouldn't have to sniffle. I'm not sure how he even saw it, but my date suddenly looked like he was sharing an inside joke with himself. I wasn't sure what was going on, but he smirked all the way home and when he said goodbye at my door.

I went inside and as I was getting ready for bed, my sister sleepily said, "What's on your pants?" She was pointing at my nether region.

I tried to look behind me but only succeeded in turning a complete circle as I tried to get a clear line of vision. When I couldn't see anything, I reached back and felt the seat of my pants.

Oh no! There was a junior mint melted right on the seat of my pink pants. I wanted to die of embarrassment.

Incident 2 - I was traveling to the funeral of a family friend with my parents, my sister, and my 1 year-old. (The funeral happened to be for the mother of the boy I'd dated during my first mint mishap. I didn't marry him. It might have had something to do with the mint. I'll never know for sure.) The trip was a couple of hours in the car. I had a large box of Junior Mints that we were passing around. At some point, I dropped one.

Given my history with Junior Mints, I knew it was imperative that I locate that wayward candy. Mom was in the back seat with me and my little boy. Despite the tight quarters, I unbuckled and shifted so we could look for the mint. No way in Candyland was I going to show up with a mint attached to my person in front of him. We looked and looked. When we couldn't find the mint, Dad grudgingly pulled over so we could get out of the car and have a better angle. I'm pretty sure his willingness had more to do with a melted mint on the car somewhere than a melted mint on his daughter.

We hunted. We searched. We removed the carseat. We shook out purses and diaper bags. We felt in seat crevices and lifted up floormats.

We never found the mint. But it didn't keep me from worrying about where it would eventually show up.

Incident 3 - Yesterday. I'd finished up an editing job and wanted to chill while I watched a few Youtube videos. My latest obsession is watching strangers open mission calls. I popped myself a bowl of popcorn, poured in some Junior Mints and sat down to relax.

When you pour the mints into a bowl of warm popcorn, they get soft and gooey and lovely. I was eating and watching when one of the mints stuck to my finger. I tried to put it in my mouth, but had an uncoordinated moment (I have a few of those every day) and it got stuck on my lip instead of making it to my mouth. I was glad no one was with me as I cleared it off my lip and into my mouth.

Or so I thought.

Until I went to bed last night. And found the mint stuck between my unmentionables and my skin.

Why? Why can't Junior Mints just like me back?