Let's Play the Random Game followed by a Game of Limbo

I like this little blog of mine. I'm sure you can't tell since it's been so neglected. In fact, you've probably considered calling the Division of Blog Services to tell them of this abuse and hoped they'd take my blog away and give it to someone who would better love it and care for it, someone who would post regularly about semi-interesting things. I even hired someone a couple of months ago to give it a makeover. I guess that's kinda like the mom who buys her kids a big gift to make up for the fact that she's never around. I really hope I'm a better parent than I am a blogger.

There's a reason the blog has been on life support. My life has been a little chaotic lately. I'm not on life support, but I do feel like I've been hanging on to my sanity by my poor, short fingernails.

Not to elicit your sympathy, but more for a record for myself, the last seven weeks have been full of highs and lows and moving fast, and faster, and faster still.

We sent Bruce on his tour of Asia. He's spending seven weeks in China, three days in Hong Kong, four weeks in Taiwan, all with a backpack and a briefcase. He's visited four huge cities, the Great Wall, and three branches of the church (Tian Jing 12-18 members, Beijing about 25 members, and Shanghai about 60 members). We're able to text and every few days we Facetime for an hour or so, so even though he's much farther away than Veronica, in some ways he feels closer. It's been fun to share this experience with him and it's given me a little taste of what it will be like when he moves over there to work, which is part of his plan.

Veronica is in leadership and is busy, busy, busy. She's been faced with some of the greatest challenges of her life as she's serving and honestly, it's been hard. Throughout her life, if she's had anything difficult--school, friendships, guy issues, disappointments--she's come to me. We've talked and worked through everything and we've been a team. I knew when she left on her mission that this would be different. I'm not there. I'm not a phone call away. She can't call me as she walks to class and get my opinion or ask for advice. She's had some really tough challenges lately. I've missed being her confidant and her sounding board, but I'm grateful she's learned that she has a wiser confidant than me and a sounding board who's there all the time. It causes a little heartache not to be there for her, but I'm so glad she knows her Heavenly Father is always there and has gone to Him.

I hate it when people complain about their aches and pains, so I'm not going to do it. I'm just going to say that arthritis and kidney stones have become two of my most reliable companions. That's all.

The Husband Maker is out and so far the reviews (I know I shouldn't read them) have been almost all good. I'm doing my best to be sure The Match Maker isn't far behind it.

Since this is my blog, can I vent for just a moment about reviews? I totally get that every book isn't for every reader. I understand that some people might like one of my books, but not another. I respect that. I must admit confusion, however, when someone reads one of my books and writes a review expressing how little they liked it and pointing out everything that bugged them--then they read my next book and do the same. And then the next. And then the next. I've released four full-length novels now and one novella. If you hated one and gave the next one a try, thank you. That was generous of you. If you hated them all and you keep reading them anyway, I have to wonder. If you dislike my books, think they're shallow, think the writing is flat, think nothing happens, etc, etc, etc, I give you permission not to read any more of them. I hate to think of the pain and torture I'm inflicting on you. But if you continue to read them, hmm. Maybe you don't dislike them as much as you say you do. Maybe you've just decided that it's your job to teach me patience and restraint. If that's the case, thank you again. I guess.

June was super busy with girls camp, basketball camps, trek, Aaronic priesthood encampment, jobs, traveling for work, getting our house ready to show, wanting and losing an amazing one-level house that would have solved the stair issue for me, busy church callings, a major birthday (ugh), publishing a large family newsletter, and more that I'll spare you the details of. There was so much that I feel our first month of summer vacation was yanked right out from under us and here we are, a week of July already gone. Time doesn't feel like my friend right now.

Would I be a horrible mother if I didn't send my kids to school this fall? Did I just say fall? Who am I kidding? They're taking my kids back the middle of the stinking summer. AUGUST 17!!! Who decided school should start in the middle of August? I know I had nothing to say about it. Every year, they rob us of a little more of our summer. Sometimes I wish I was one of those radicals who leaves normal society behind and goes off the grid so they can do their own thing. Wouldn't it be fun to make all your own rules? Oh, there are so many things I'd change.

Limbo: noun - a West Indian dance in which the dancer bends backward to pass under a horizontal bar that is progressively lowered to a position just above the ground.

Limbo: noun - an uncertain period of awaiting a decision or resolution; an intermediate state or condition.

What do these two definitions have in common? The need to be flexible, I guess. The first is obviously physical flexibility. The second is a different kind of flexibility.

We've been in limbo for awhile now. The doctor said I should try to eliminate as many stairs from my life as possible. Since our house is very vertical, with three tall flights of stairs, we decided we should try to find something that will work better for me. For the last ten months, we've been on the hunt for main level living with personality. Oh, and it has to be in our price range. It's very rare and when it comes up, there are multiple offers (some with cash) and no one wants to wait for a house to sell. It's proven to be very frustrating. I've decided limbo isn't much fun and while I know from experience, I'm terrible at the game, I'm also discovering I'm not much better at the other kind of limbo.

And so we barrel into July. There's still no lazy, relaxing summer in sight. We still live in a vertical house, but it's more organized and it's a beautiful house, so my knees and hips are the only ones complaining. I'm working hard to make this trilogy an enjoyable read for those of you kind enough to read it, and I'm missing my kids that are gone and wishing we could just pack all four of them up and keep them close.

Travis suggested we sell our house and travel the world for a few years with the money from the sale. It sounds so heavenly--Iceland, Scotland, Norway, the Netherlands during tulip season, China, Taiwan, New Zealand... I could go on and on. I could write a book about it. But where would we live when we came home with no money? Sometimes I hate having to be responsible. (Sorry, I couldn't choose one picture. Just google "tulip fields" and prepare to be breathless.)

I just read through this post. It might be the most convoluted thing I've ever posted, but maybe that just reflects the way I feel right now. Maybe I needed to be all over the place to help me gain a little clarity. And I must admit, these tulip pictures make me happy.

So what has become clear from this?

Maybe we should just travel the world.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

If I was younger I would suggest we travel the world... with you! that would be amazing! But, only if I was younger.