Someone Needs Advice - A Hypothetical Situation (wink, wink)

Let's say some parents want their daughter to have some fun high school experiences. Because of that they tell their daughter she has to ask someone to the girl's choice preference dance. Let's say that the daughter insists its too late to get into a group and promises she'll ask someone to the next girl's choice dance--Spring Fling.

Now let's imagine that Spring Fling ends up being on March 19 and it isn't technically a dance. Instead it's ice skating and let's throw in there that the daughter isn't a proficient ice skater.

Now let's imagine that she's been asked to Prom with a boy that goes to a different school. And maybe that prom is on March 25. She insists she'll have a good school dance experience at prom and should be released from the promise to ask someone to Spring Fling. What if the daughter says she'd prefer to ask someone to Sadie Hawkins in the fall.

Should the parents insist that she go to two major dances two weekends in a row? or should they let her off the hook until next fall?

What would your advice be to these hypothetical people?

10 comments:

Christie said...

I don't know that I'd equate my dance experiences (girls choice or otherwise) as defining moments of my character. I'd say let her off the hook and be glad she doesn't want a steady boyfriend to make out with at said dances.

You know, hypothetically speaking, of course. :-)

Mindy said...

What Christie said. :)

Scott / Lori said...

I, too, am with Christie. Let her spend the evening with you, not out feeling awkward on ice skates. But tell her, hypothetically speaking, that in the fall she has to make some guys day by being asked,by her,to the Sadie Hawkins dance.

Kelly Massman said...

Thanks for visiting my blog-it means a lot!
And, as for your daughter, I'd let her make the choice (especially since her choice is to do something as opposed to nothing). I have a 16 year old boy, and it is hard to let him decide on his own. Eventually, I'll let him have his wings...

Annette said...

Hmm... I assume you don't want her throwing herself at boys she doesn't even like and then feeling obligated to make the evening fun for them, having given them the wrong idea in the first place... But if there is someone she likes and needs encouragement to let him know, that might be a good topic to bring up and discuss? And perhaps there are other ways she might be more comfortable getting to be friends with him--like a group fast-food date, talking on the phone, a movie, a trip to the zoo...whatever she genuinely enjoys doing so that there will be things to talk about, and if the date is a bomb, at least she'll have enjoyed the outing...

Holly B said...

Hypothetically...Let her stay home from the ice skating. Too soon she will want to be gone all the time. Maybe she could take her Dad or you on a date? Or both... Or she could have a group of friends over to your house who aren't going to the ice skating and play games or dance there : )

Leslie said...

i say to let her off the hook. i say unless she has someone to ask that she REALLY wants to ask to go with her, she should not have to ask anyone.

my MOST fun dances were with people that i was great friends with and who i KNEW i would have a great time with. the dances where i asked someone that i didn't know very well ended up being lame and awkward.

so, when she HAS someone that she wants to ask, she will have a lot more fun than if she is compelled to ask someone just to fulfill a promise.

just sayin'.

and i am right. just sayin' again.

Anonymous said...

A promise is a promise. If she agreed to ask someone out on the next dance than she should not back out just because of feeling 'awkward' or having another engagement. You know that the same excuse will happen with the next dance anyway.
Coming from someone who never got to go to any dances, I regret not having those experiences, bad or good. Isn't better to have the experience than to miss them because of shyness? While others say to let her off the hook, I say it is more important to keep a promise (hypothetical or not)and have the experience. She will have the experience to look back on and grow from it.
Plus many years down the road she will be able to insist her own daughter go through the same experience because she had too! ;)

Karey said...

Thanks to all who left comments. We've decided that since the point of the commitment was to be sure she had a fun high school dance experience, and since she's been asked by a nice kid that we like, and since the Spring Fling is actually ice skating and I sympathize with her awkwardness on skates, and since it would be two Saturdays in a row, and since she and her friend are planning now for Sadie Hawkins, and since we really don't want her having a serious boyfriend to make out with, and since she's a smart girl and won't be defined by her high school dance experiences, and since we don't want her feeling obligated to show a guy a good time, we'll let her off the hook. Hypothetically speaking, of course!

Leslie said...

Good choice. School dances are overrated. I went to one and it was lame.