I Left My Heart... In Provo

 My grown up girl.
Today we moved Veronica into her apartment. We cleaned and organized and unpacked. We decorated with the second-hand treasures she and her roommate had found over the past few months. It was a fun day.

Until we said goodbye.

my head hurts
my jaws hurt
my heart hurts

In my head I know this is right,
But my heart isn't convinced.

Please don't tell me it's close. I know exactly how many miles it is from her apartment to my front door. I know she could be further away. But tonight it might as well be halfway around the world.

She isn't here.
I won't kiss her goodnight tonight.

I want to the one who hears about school and work every day.
I want to be the one whose shoulder she cries on.
I want to watch movies with her and discuss books.
I want to hear her walk in laughing with Joe.
I want to watch her dance with Savannah.
I want to be the one she cooks with, cleans with, and shops with.
I want to teach primary with her.

And yet I want her to grow and experience new things.
I want her to meet new people.
I want her to have fun and stretch and feel confident and accomplished.

It's impossible for her to have the things I want for her future if I keep her close to do the things I'm going to miss so much.

So I'll patch up my heart and cheer her on with a smile on my face, a prayer in my heart, and occasionally tears in my eyes.


Leslie said...

wow, how did this day come so fast?

we love veronica.

we love you.

Mindy said...

I already panic when I think about having only one more year with my girl in my home... it does come way too fast.

A conversation Aubrey and I had awhile ago totally sums up my emotions about it. Aubrey was crying and saying that she didn't want to leave home. I said, you don't have to! She cried, yes, I do... and, crying with her I said, I know.

Sigh... it's just a bittersweet time of life.

Scott / Lori said...

This is hard. Not much more to say than that. Love you all and I hope she has a great year.

Tawnie said...

so hard. so fun!!!!

Anonymous said...

I miss that girl, so you must miss her terribly. Aren't you glad she is still close by? But no matter how close they live to you, once they strike out on their own, life is never the same. LMH