I Left My Heart... In Provo

 My grown up girl.

Today we moved Veronica into her apartment. We cleaned and organized and unpacked. We decorated with the second-hand treasures she and her roommate had found over the past few months. It was a fun day.

Until we said goodbye.

my head hurts
my jaws hurt
my heart hurts

In my head I know this is right,
But my heart isn't convinced.

Please don't tell me it's close. I know exactly how many miles it is from her apartment to my front door. I know she could be further away. But tonight it might as well be halfway around the world.

She isn't here.
I won't kiss her goodnight tonight.

I want to the one who hears about school and work every day.
I want to be the one whose shoulder she cries on.
I want to watch movies with her and discuss books.
I want to hear her walk in laughing with Joe.
I want to watch her dance with Savannah.
I want to be the one she cooks with, cleans with, and shops with.
I want to teach primary with her.

And yet I want her to grow and experience new things.
I want her to meet new people.
I want her to have fun and stretch and feel confident and accomplished.

It's impossible for her to have the things I want for her future if I keep her close to do the things I'm going to miss so much.

So I'll patch up my heart and cheer her on with a smile on my face, a prayer in my heart, and occasionally tears in my eyes.